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When they get to high school, Tommy is the big man on campus, captain of the football team, dating the head cheerleader, and pretty much ignoring Cindy. Tommy leaves for college and word soon gets back to Cindy during her senior year of high school that he and his girlfriend have broken up.
Hinting at some incident for the first time is an automatic setup that demands a payoff.
He wears bedpans for shoes and stomps about, flapping his arms and squawking.
The children find it hilarious, but hospital directors consider it undignified and demand he stop.
If you’re anything like me, you were laughing from page 1. Contrived phonetic spelling would slow the reading, but look what Twain accomplished with simple choices. Apply to your own work those principles and the tools I’ve outlined here, and I believe you’ll immediately see a huge difference. In the Comments, ask me any questions regarding how to write dialogue.
Budding writers often ask me: “How do I master Point of View?
Example: “Well John,” Linda said, “what do you have to say for yourself? Doc Hensley uses this method, and when his children were little, they found it amusing.